Who am I?
A wife (11 years and counting…).
A mother (of two precious boys who are begging for a baby sister).
A daughter.
A friend.
A counselor.
A patient.
A Christian “doubting Thomas”.
A former Republican turned Independent.
A sentimental sap who cries at Lifetime Movies.
A runner (in my head anyways).
A secret artist (wannabe).
An extrovert…except when I’m not.
My son says I have Mommy Magic – you can decide for yourself.
The list could go on — but I like you am just a person trying to figure out how to love, laugh and fulfill my purpose in this world by working out my faith day by day.
To put some of my blog posts in context and for those of you new to my story, I have struggled with chronic pain, fatigue and host of other symptoms for the past 13 plus years from a connective tissue disease/autoimmune/fibromyalgia/ arthritis/migraine/chronic CSF leaks/weird brain sag – a.k.a. Chiari’s/the “we have no idea what exactly is causing all of this – the medical profession isn’t the all-knowing guru I once thought it was” illness. This blog was born out of my experiences living life in my varying roles while coping with chronic illness and pain. (Be patient as my posts will come in spurts during times I have the stamina and energy to actually craft my thoughts into words…brain fog, you understand.) “Don’t waste your pain,” a wise woman once told me, and I have endeavored to make sure the lessons God is teaching me daily under the strain of illness do not go by the wayside. I’ve realized that if I am not intentional about lessons learned I tend to forget them… quickly! I figure if I ever want to graduate from this classroom of the “sick and tired” than I better take studious notes so I am ready when pop quizzes come along. And, believe me, they do come. I don’t know if my illness will be lifted from me in this lifetime. While I do not believe God made me sick, I do believe He has the power to heal me. If He is not healing me, in His sovereignty, He must know this is what my life needs to be right now. He can use it to make me into the me He originally designed (before this messy world got in the way) and/or He can use my illness to refine my family, friends… heck, maybe even a stranger or two. I don’t know. I do know that what is… IS! And the God of I AM has got it covered and my only job in to surrender – my will, my plans, my thoughts, my actions, my pain, my good days and bad, every breath I take… to Him. I get it wrong more than I get it right. But slowly, ever so slowly, I surrender.