My baby is four! How does that happen so fast? I remember this night four years ago so clearly. My hospital room was serene and quiet. My husband had gone home to shower and rest. And my baldy, pudgy, and precious baby boy and I snuggled in bed. I giggled because I thought he kinda looked like a turtle — with his scrunched up face and big forehead. I loved it. He was perfect in his “turtleness”. He nursed effortlessly (an unexpected gift as I had readied myself for another nursing battle). I remember being surprised with joy and contentment. Finally, I felt at peace in my own skin as “mother” — something that I had lacked up to this point. I struggled so tumultuously to raise my first precious baby boy the “right” way and spent the first six months racked with anxiety, panic attacks and postpartum depression. I was terrified of messing it up. In the solitude of that room with my miracle baby #2, I realized that I could surrender my little angels back to God and breath through the crying fits and sleepless nights and cherish them for what they were. A season. A moment in time that I was blessed with the job of sustaining a helpless little life. And we would all survive and thrive. Sleep would return. Crying would cease. Babies would grow. And we are all a whole lot more resilient than I had once thought — these babies and their mama.
Happy Birthday my Mikey-moo! Thank you for making me the mama I am today and for teaching me to enjoy the ride moment by moment. I am in awe of you every day. To end your birthday day here are the words to your favorite song that you always make me sing “five times” …
“I love you forever. I like you for always. As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be…”
(From the “I Love You Forever” book)